You Can Only Meet Others Where You Are: A Journey of Healing and Self-Awareness

You can’t be what someone else wants you to be; you can only be where you are. True healing and growth require meeting yourself exactly where you are, and allowing others to do the same. This journey is deeply personal, and it will never look the same for everyone.

What I mean is that we must look within to understand who we are, what we’ve been through, what we need, and what changes we must make to transform our lives. Each of our stories, journeys, and experiences is unique. But ultimately, we’re all moving toward the same destination: awakening—the awareness of who we are, where we come from, why we're here, and, for some, where we're going next.

The human being is made of mind, body, and spirit, yet for the most part, we focus heavily on the body and outward appearance. We rarely give enough attention to nurturing the spirit. But if we can begin to work on our minds, to heal and shift the way we think—and tap into the spiritual part of ourselves, we can evolve as whole, integrated beings.

We often look to others to soothe us, help us understand ourselves, and make the world feel safe. But the truth is, only we can do that for ourselves. If we love ourselves enough. When we are truly in tune with who we are, we no longer need external validation or protection. Once that sense of safety and self-worth is rooted within us, we’re able to be with anyone while still maintaining healthy boundaries. We finally reach a point where we are in tune with ourselves, free from the negative emotions we’ve carried for generations, many of which were never ours to begin with. Once we see this clearly, we can face ourselves fully, without needing anyone else to define who we are.

This is something we each have to figure out on our own. Once we do, we’re able to meet others at our level. Energy is real. If I’m in a place of darkness, confusion, and fear (which many people are), I can’t meet others where they are if they’ve already healed and evolved. That’s why this process is deeply personal, and everyone must go through it in their own time. Once we grow, we can meet others where they are, without judgment. For example, if I’m in a relationship and I’m doing my part to bring harmony, but the other person is carrying unresolved trauma and negative emotions, then with compassion, I can choose to remove myself, because they are not meeting me where I am in my journey.

In that case, we have to let them be, unless they ask to grow with you and commit to doing the work. Then, in that moment, you should evaluate the situation and decide if you want to help that person, if you want to be with them, and if you’re willing to take the time to support them with patience through their journey. But at the end of the day, that person still has to do the work on their own.

Simply put: they’re not where you are yet. Ideally, couples grow and evolve together, but that’s not always the case.

Once we truly understand this, and it may take time to fully grasp it, it will change everything. You might understand it intellectually, but internalizing it deeply takes time. When you do, your life and relationships will improve significantly.